Where Wendigo, I Go
by PaperGanstah
Summary: Castiel has been slowly losing his angel mojo whilst Dean draws away into himself. Rumors of a Wendgio in northern Arizona send the hunters its way. But this time, Castiel comes along for the journey. Dean wants to teach him a few things... Slash Cas/Dean
1. Over the Hills and Far Away

**Hey everyone! Just finished a fic I have been spending forever on, and I am writing another one already! This story should be set around the middle of season 5. Castiel is getting low on angel juice and Dean has begun to be affected by the strain of all the angel vs demon crap. In this story, Dean and Sam take Cas on a camping trip as they hunt for the last known Wendigo in the United States. **

Dean was frequently astonished by how little Castiel knew of the world. A seasoned soldier of God's army and he didn't even know how to tie his shoes. Dean often felt that he was the baby sitter of the heavenly being but he knew that he secretly loved his job. Castiel was absolutely adorable. Dean had trouble describing him as anything else. Never the smart one of the brother duo, it felt nice to have a hoard of information he could simply hand out to Castiel when he wished. It made him seem very intelligent, and as he liked to think, rather worldly. Astute even, though Dean himself would never use the world. Maybe sagely, made him seem like a cool jedi master or a Chinese scholar that had taught himself how to fly, literally. Dean was worried about his angel. Lately, he had been getting tired from normal angel activities. Like zapping and even healing himself. It scared Dean. Castiel did not get tired. He was like a less peppy Energizer Bunny and Dean had first thought angels were unstoppable. Untouchable beings who were cold in spirit and judgment. Castiel was cut off from heaven and it showed how much angels relied on the power they gathered from their home.

Today Dean was going to not only teach Castiel some vital survival skills, but to hopefully catch a Wendigo in the process. Sam and Dean had killed one a few years ago, and it was strange for such a creature to appear this frequently. Wendigos were very rare and old. It was often said that such monsters were once human beings themselves, and Dean seemed to support the theory after experiencing all of humanities cruelties. Something about them made Castiel wistful, if not openly saddened. They began as humans and died as monsters. Left to suffer through years of neglect until they lost the humanity that separated them from the animals they hunted for their own tables. Transformation into such a creature was a very slow process with the precursor years of brutal starvation. They were constantly hungry for something and the little bit of flesh that slipped into their nests didn't seem to satisfy them in the way a decent burger had always made Dean happy. But Castiel had realized that Dean was similar to the very beasts he obsessively hunted. He hungered. And he was so lonely. Castiel had watched him retreat more behind a quick smile and cheap joke. They had connection that no one knew of or shared with them and Castiel could feel the strain on the other end. He came to Dean whenever he called to him, in the hopes that it would be something other than hunter business. That Dean not only needed him as a soldier but that liked to have him around.

Dean closed his eyes and thought of the blue eyed angel. He smiled when Castiel appeared behind him the instant he called him over.

"Hey Cas."

"Hello Dean." Castiel gazed back at the hunter almost reverently. They stood there staring at each other for a few moments, Dean looking a bit uncomfortable and Castiel slightly smiling back.

"Just kiss him already." Sam entered the room carrying an armful of blankets out to the Impala.

Dean glared back. "Shut up Sammy."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Castiel was now eyeing Dean curiously. "Why is it you called me out here?" His blue eyes roamed the area as he frowned. "You do not seem to be in any sort of danger."

Dean grinned back at him. "Not at the moment Cas. Sammy and I have gotten word from Bobby that another Wendigo was spotted in these United States of America. In the northern forests of Arizona. And we are going to gank him."

"Why?"

Dean frowned at Castiel. "Because they are evil? And they like to eat people."

"Oh. I understand. But don't animals and people do the same things?"

Dean ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "What…eat people?"

Castiel smiled absently. "Not cannibalism necessarily. You eat animals to live don't you? I am confused. Aren't Wendigos doing the same thing?"

Dean glared at Castiel. "No." Castiel titled his head at him curiously. "Jesus Cas you can be really dumb sometimes." He sat down on the back of the Impala. "You see, we are humans. Me and Sam? Humans."

Castiel nodded. "I understand that Dean but-"

"If something is going around eating people, we don't exactly want to let it run wild and start a people buffet. Monsters are some of the only actual creatures on this planet that can kill us, so I plan on killing them first. Before they kill innocent people. Kapeesh?"

"Yes Dean. Are you ready to leave now?" He reached over towards Dean with one arm extended.

"No Cas." Castiel looked confused. "We aren't zapping there. Sammy and I are taking you on a real camping trip."

Castiel looked intrigued. "And what do you do there?"

"Live and act like a man Cas. It is training time. If you can't get your mojo up like usual, I want to teach you some real life skills. With the apocalypse cooking on the front burner, I want to know that you will be alright if you aren't up to your usual…angel stuff."

Castiel smiled shyly. "Thank you Dean."

Dean pulled at his collar nervously as he opened the door for Castiel. When he turned to say something to the angel he saw he had simply teleported into the car. "Ummm Cas?"

Castiel gazed back at him solemnly from the back seat. "Yes Dean."

"Just…try and cool it with the angel magic for awhile. If you are running out of angel juice, you don't want to waste it on teleporting into cars instead just getting into it yourself." Castiel stared blankly at him. "If you haven't noticed most people don't do that."

Castiel stared quietly ahead as if the car had already started. He figured he had a lot to learn. If he ran out of "'angel mojo" he was going to be on major trouble. Castiel sat in the back seat looking rather like a wilted flower. Everything he did seem to make Dean laugh at him. It was like Dean was the supreme holy being and Castiel far below him. This relationship didn't always trouble Castiel though. In fact, Castiel loved being around Dean since the man was absolutely fascinating to Castiel. He seemed to constantly run off of a full tank of emotions when Castiel had just begun to realize such things actually existed. He could feel emotions too. The more time he spent with Sam and Dean, the more he began to not only get to know them, but to understand things about himself. That he felt fear when Dean was in trouble. That he felt safe when he was near him. He could understand, comprehend even, some of what he felt around Dean. But some of his feelings seemed to be cut off from his brain. He couldn't place the bubbly feeling that stretched all the way into his wing tips when he was near the hunter. As much as he tried to understand the hunter he found himself more often confused than enlightened. Dean was full of contradictions. Most of his confusing nature was necessary, but Castiel didn't seem to fully understand that fact yet. Dean was always throwing jokes around even when one could glimpse the strain behind his eyes. People were always looking towards angels for answers, for someone to be stronger than them and braver than them. To Castiel Dean was the real hero. Here he was taking Castiel out of the delusion of heaven and its supreme orders. He and Sam had practically adopted him into their family and as he gazed at their laughing faces in the rear view mirror he realized that he longed to be like them more than anything in the world. But he was so scared. Every day he was away from heaven his grace seemed to diminish bit by bit. All he had ever known was to love a father he had never actually met and to take orders from brothers he hadn't truly loved since he hadn't known how. Castiel was beginning to learn of loss. Of how Dean got that far away look in his eyes and clenched his hands whenever he talked about his own father. Castiel had always rested on blind faith and now he could see that someone could both hate and love someone at the same time. Whenever Dean reprimanded him for something, Castiel hoped with all of the building feelings inside him that Dean wasn't hating him in that moment. That he was doing things wrong because he was new to them. That there was even the slightest possibility that he could even learn to be like him. To have Dean smile at him, place a hand on his shoulder, and tell him 'good job Cas.' He lived for those moments. Lately Castiel had been appearing to the Winchesters without his usual reasons. Not as the harbinger of information but to see them, make sure they were alright. He understood how pain could be expressed in both the tangible physicality of injury or sickness and the more confusing pathway of emotions. Castiel had never felt as happy and depressed as he was with the Winchesters. He sat, always in the back, of the Impala as he absorbed himself in his thoughts, occasionally humming along to Physical Graffiti since the Led Zeppelin cd had been practically imprinted into his brain. Castiel smiled as Dean locked eyes with him in the mirror and felt that same distinctive flutter in his heart as he saw Dean return the gesture wholeheartedly.

"How are you doing back there Cas?"

Castiel smiled, pleased. "Fine Dean. And yourself?"

"I'm doin' great Cas. Actually, I just wanted to tell you that…I'm glad you are coming with us. Sammy and I have been doing this for a few years and before that I just hunted by myself." Dean cleared his throat. Just…It is nice to have you on the team." Sam glanced at his brother curiously. Dean jabbered a whole lot, but he didn't often say things explicitly. A joke may be a hint towards something deeper or not. As much as their angel was confused by Dean, so was his own brother.

"I am happy to be here Dean." Dean smiled as he turned up the music. When Castiel wasn't watching the hunter's face in the mirror, he took to staring out the window of the car. Zapping everywhere ha its benefits, but Castiel was beginning to realize how much he was missing. Castiel loved all of his father's creations, but earth and the novelty of its human inhabitants really struck a chord in him. He felt home here with Dean, and more than in heaven. The earth was so beautiful to Castiel. Transitory, but it had an oldness to it that didn't match the young shoots peeking out of the earth. He watched pine trees transfer into junipers as a light rain drummed on the cab top.

"Woah. Look." Dean parked the Impala on the side of the road as Castiel and Sam looked confused. "See that?" Dean pointed out towards the woods.

"No, what is it Dean?" Sam craned his neck to get a look around his brother.

"Elk. See them?" Castiel scooted closer to the window and peered out. He could see a doe or too nuzzling grass out of the ground as crowned member of the heard stepped out of the overgrowth of aspen trees. "Oh shit Cas, see that buck there! Six prongs on those antlers! Oh man, haven't seen one in years. We don't get out to the woods enough anymore Sammy; I would rather see this than any old demon." Dean smiled as he started the car again. Castiel nearly pressed his nose against the glass as he stared at the lanky brown animal. He watched as it raised its heavily laden head towards him. Wild brown eyes locked with the curious blue of Castiel's irises. Castiel felt something deep within him cry out for the same freedom of the beast as it let out a low bellow. The car pulled away as Castiel put a hand against the glass in farewell. He smiled softly to himself as he fell into a doze and dreamed away the rest of the drive to the camping site.


	2. Misty Mountain Hop

**Haventmetmyangelyet-Hey! Glad to see you on this ship too lol Thanks, Oh Cas why are you so cute?**

**Angelic Abomination- Haha thanks :) Yup, but I figured Dean was going to learn to LOVE camping lol gotta go camping to catch a Wendigo!**

"Misty Mountain Hop"

"Hey guys, we're here!" Dean stretched as Sam unplugged his ipod, cutting himself off from the music Dean loved to hate. Country.

"Cas come on out, no poofing this ti-" Dean stopped talking when he saw how darling Castiel looked asleep, head resting comfortably against the window pane and arms wrapped closely around himself. He looked just like an angel-shit how lame could he be? Castiel _was_ an angel. Dean almost didn't have the heart to wake the sleeping angel since had looked so tired lately. But he knew that Castiel was practically an infant when it came to common knowledge. He wouldn't survive the cutoff from heaven without Dean's help. And damn it, Dean was going to teach him everything he could drill into his pretty head. If one thing he taught the angel could potentially save his life someday then this abridged training course had better commence.

"Cas. Hey! Castiel Angel of the Lord!" Castiel looked startled and woke with a small jump. Dean looked guilty. He hadn't wanted to scare him…man he was getting soft. Dean placed a hand to his forehead as Castiel yawned and climbed groggily out of the car.

"Dean." He locked eyes with the hunter as he gave him a soul searching stare.

"Erm…we're here."

'Here' was absolutely breathtaking. It was getting close to evening, so Castiel could see a deep bluish haze over the tallest tree tops. Small plants crawled across the ground and Castiel wasn't used to the dirt looking so rich and alive since he was used to visiting Dean in the cities. He didn't miss the assortment of tightly knit grey building blocks here. Not with this fresh air. The sun had collected the redness of blood throughout the day and it was now satisfied and sinking into darkness.

"Shit. We should have left at least an hour earlier. Took too long at Taco Bell,I guess. Okay Cas. Tent 101."

Castiel stood there looking confused and running the waterproof material through his hands. He stared down quietly at the metal rods and back at Dean. "I do not understand. What do you do with this? I'm not sure I like how it feels. I prefer the other types of blankets you usually use. They are much softer than this, are they not?"

Dean chuckled. "Oh Cas." He winked. "Have faith." Castiel looked offended as he looked at anything but Dean. "Sorry. Now this is a tarp. We are going to stretch it out and place it on the ground. Keeps you from getting wet in the rain and insulates a little from the cold." Castiel felt a flutter when his fingers brushed Dean's as they unrolled the tarp together. Sam was in the middle of building a fire as Dean commanded Castiel around. "No! Wrong pole Cas, that goes in the back, see how it is bigger than the other one?"

Castiel nodded wishing he could learn things instantly. Or even better: just know them in the first place. Dean seemed to know everything there was to know about his planet. And it amazed Castiel. He had seen all of the useless things other humans seemed to hoard when these woods seemed to contain everything a person needed. You just needed to know where to look. Dean pointed out a small patch of wild strawberries next to Castiel's shoe and the angel squatted next to the tiny plant as he ogled the fascinating redness of the fruit. Dean couldn't keep his eyes off of the angel. Everything seemed to be a wonder to him and it felt like Dean was able to appreciate things he had always known with a fresh look. It was ridiculously cute.

Castiel stood next to Dean looking proud at the tent they had set up together. It looked so frail in the wind, but Castiel trusted that it would remain standing in any storm. After all, it had been Dean's handiwork. And Dean constantly amazed Castiel.

"Hey Cas. Come over here and pick out a sleeping bag. You and me get this tent. Sammy doesn't sleep in one unless it rains too much. He's one of those emotional types if you haven't noticed." Castiel nodded but felt curious as to why his heart was currently beating so loudly in his chest. Why would he feel so nervous about sharing a …very small space with Dean when he loved nothing more than to get into his personal space? Castiel was very troubled about these feelings. Since he had begun to actually feel things he had been constantly assaulted by their aftermath. But a night awake due to lonely feelings or worry was significantly different than one born of the giddy feeling he got from Dean. Castiel reached over and pulled out a tan and blue bag from the trunk as he followed Dean into the tent.

"Okay Cas. This is my side and yours is right there. Okay?" Castiel nodded as he felt his feelings droop from the earlier elevation of being with Dean.

"What is it Cas?"

The angel shook his head. Dean eyed him but shrugged it off as one of the many things he would never understand about Castiel. "Let's carry what we need in the tent. The rest can stay in the tent."

They sat quietly around the fire for a while prodding at the flames with scabby looking sticks and watching it roar whenever Dean threw more kindling on. Sam brought out a bag of marshmallows which seemed to really delight Castiel.

"What are they?" Castiel held one on his palm in wonder.

"Mwarshmwallos," Dean instructed with a mouth full of them.

Castiel narrowed his eyes at them in thought. "Human speech is much stranger than Enochian sometimes." Dean and Sam caught each other's eyes as they guffawed at him. Castiel wilted before their very eyes as he stared sullenly into the fire as he moodily stretched out a marshmallow into a shapeless blob.

"Cas? Cas. I'm sorry man. You just say the cutest things sometimes." Castiel gave him a small smile as Sam just eyed the two of them.

"Here Cas, watch this." Dean stabbed a marshmallow on a stick and thrust it into the fire. They all watched as it oozed over the stick and lay bubbling in the fire.

Castiel stared at it intently. "Can I try?"

"Sure thing Cas. Here you go." Dean slipped a marshmallow onto a stick and handed it to Castiel. The angel immediately stuck the stick into the fire and watched amazed as the marshmallow turned brown and disappeared into the flames.

"Is this a human game?"

Dean shook his head. "Nah, just something fun to do. You know, you can eat marshmallows."Castiel stared confused back at him. Dean had never told him he was allowed to eat a soccer ball before or another thing that had been immediately labeled as a 'toy.'

"I'm not sure Dean…"

"Come here." Dean held out a stick decorated with a marshmallow. Castiel still eyed it suspiciously. He was new to the whole idea of eating and Sam and Dean seemed to get a lot of enjoyment out of feeding him nasty stuff. Or at least foods they didn't like. Dean tried to make him eat anything vegetable since he hated them and Sam pushed more of the meat products to him. With both Winchesters treating him like a new pet he actually got a somewhat balanced diet. As long as the taste wasn't horrendous Castiel didn't mind giving them some amusement since he was curious about the taste himself. He was new to this world and everything human so it was even the little things that amazed Castiel.

"Go on Cas. Just take a bite of it and if you don't like it you can spit it out. I promise."Castiel nodded and looked trusting. Dean sucked in his breath as he watched Castiel patiently part his full mouth and look at him expectantly. Castiel took a small bite off of it and sat there chewing thoughtfully.

"So…what do you think Cas?" Sam watched Castiel as he sat there quietly for a while.

"They are…interesting."

Dean grinned. "Let's bust out some chocolate and grams. Those puffy white things are going to get a lot more interesting." The boys sat around the fire until it began to sputter out, telling stories and crafting sticky s'mores.

"Dean."

"Yeah Cas?"

Castiel studied the tired flames as their shadows climbed across his face. "How are we going to catch this Wendigo?"

Dean shook his head. "It's always business with you Cas, isn't it?"

"Sorry Dean I just-"

"-No Cas. I was just kidding with you." He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, last time we knew exactly where the thing was so we just found the abandoned tent of the people it snatched up. The things are sneaky so we will have to make sure it doesn't separate us again. We were a bit underprepared last time, it was kind of embarrassing. So we just winged it Winchester style."

Castiel gazed at him solemnly. "So what is the plan now?"

"Erm. I guess it is kind of the same plan. But this time we are more prepared. And if it gets too bad we have an angel on our side." He looked into Castiel's eyes with a smile and poked at the fire until sparks emerged angrily. "Try to use as little of your angel juice as you can unless we really need it. This trip is all about teaching you how to survive out here, so no cheating."

Castiel nodded as he hugged his knees. A wolf howled in the distance as Castiel shivered slightly; a chill feeling trailing up and down his spine. He heard an answering call and felt comforted that the poor lonely thing wasn't alone on this night. There was something sinister in these woods and Castiel could feel its presence as he huddled over the fire with the Winchester brothers.

Dean noticed the angel shivering and scooted closer to him. "Hey, are you alright Cas?"

"Yes Dean just a bit…"

"Cold?" Dean offered as the angel looked thoughtful before nodding in agreement.

"Yes, I believe that is the correct term."

Dean grinned at him. "Okay Cas. Let's get you some other clothes and get you to sleep. I packed some better stuff than your 'holy tax accountant get up.' Castiel looked surprised, forgetting yet again that he wasn't supposed to poof his clothes clean or mend them instantaneously.

"C'mon Cas. You going to sleep yet Sammy?" Dean looked over at his brother who had already rolled himself into a sleeping bag. He shook his head and chuckled. "He's out already." Dean leaned over and zipped the bag up around his little brother as Castiel watched them quietly. He had that wistful feeling starting up in his heart once more and right now he knew that it was the way he had connected the Winchester's relationship to himself and his own brothers. It was strange how Castiel had practically an army of them and yet he was still as lonely as the lost wolf wandering in the misty hills. He hoped that when he called out in a similar fashion that someone would answer. He also hoped that it could be Dean. The hunter smiled softly at him before unzipping the tent. "Come here Cas."Castiel followed and ducked into the tent after him.

Dean was already rummaging through some bags to find proper attire for Castiel. The angel stood there worrying his tie in his hands. "Here Cas. Underwear." He threw a black pair at Castiel. "Hmmm…Here's a good shirt for you. Blue like your eyes. I bet it would look great on you." Castiel felt his face flush lightly as he held the soft material. Dean talked to himself until he had also scrounged up a good pair of pajama pants and socks. "Well aren't you going to put them on?" Castiel nodded and pulled off his blue tie before setting it neatly on the ground. He didn't notice the way Dean was staring at him as he slowly unbuttoned his white collared shirt. Castiel slipped out of his pants and locked eyes with Dean just as he was about to pull off his boxers.

"Ermmm…sorry Cas." Dean turned around as he began to change his clothes. Castiel eyed him curiously as he began to pull on the things Dean had chosen for him. For all of Dean's talk about teaching Castiel life skills, he still seemed to get a major kick out of babying him. Castiel swallowed as he pulled the shirt over his head, eyes on Dean's muscled back the entire time. Dean turned around to find Castiel doing his favorite activity: staring almost obsessively at Dean.

"Like what you see Cas?"

The angel tilted his head to the side curiously. "Yes."

Dean looked confused but grinned at Castiel anyway. He wasn't sure if Castiel meant he was attracted to him or not, but he figured he wasn't ready to overload a newly fallen angel with complex emotional discussions. Like about how Dean hoped Castiel thought he was attractive…

"Dean?"

Dean shook his head. "Sorry Cas just zoned out for a bit." He rummaged in his things until he snatched out a toothbrush and passed it to Castiel. It was blue. Even Castiel was beginning to pick up on how everything Dean gave him seemed to be blue. Blue sleeping bag, shirt, and now toothbrush. Now that Castiel was better at understanding humor he was amused when Dean also placed a pillow with a blue case next to his sleeping bag. What he didn't get was that Dean had associated him with the calming color and automatically matched everything to the eyes he so fancied. As Castiel brushed his teeth Dean showed him how to unroll the sleeping bag and unzip it.

"Okay Cas. Gotta take a leak. I'll be back." Castiel nodded. When Dean returned he found the angel sleeping on top of a sleeping bag looking frigid. He shook his head fondly. Dean found a warmish blanket and pulled it over him. Castiel clutched the top of the blanket and sighed softly in his sleep. Dean smiled and dragged his own sleeping bag next to his as he pulled the blanket over the both of them. He felt the sleeping angel snuggle into his shoulder before he drifted off contentedly to the light sounds of pine needles dripping from the trees and onto their tent.

In the deep woods the Wendigo crawled among the trees. The small creatures of the forest ran swiftly for they could smell the insatiable hunger upon it. Its thin covering of skin stretched over thin bones and the smell of decay was upon it. A harbinger of death and nearly dead itself; this Wendigo had been once been human but was left with a lonely mind and stomach for too long. Abandoned to a never ending starvation without the grace and sympathy to leave its ruin upon the snow. Now animal like eyes searched along the dark path until they found the way back to the abandoned mine shaft it lived it. The Wendigo slid down a frayed rope and climbed into what one could consider its larder: a cold room where the creature had hoisted up an unhappy poacher. The man had gotten lost in the twisting trees and had abandoned most of his traps to the forest he had continuously taken from. Barely alive, he had been strung up next to the remains of other unhappy humans, the only difference being the fact that he was alive and still owned most of his flesh. Used to the rotten smell and unable to yell with his parched throat he awaited the return of the monster. It came into the room with eyes bright as it scurried almost happily. The Wendigo had happened upon a small camp of three. The prey was found and soon the hunt would begin again with the promise of a greedy feeding. It ripped into the poacher with less caution than usual. More rations were on their way and had stupidly put themselves on the shelf. Soon he would have a wealth of flesh to hoard.


	3. Your Time Is Gonna Come

**Hey gang, here is the next chapter! Thank you for the reviews, they are always mucho appreciated :)**

**Haventmetmyangelyet- Thanks :):) Haha I tried to scare myself writing that part and…it worked!**

**Shanamaria- Aww thanks for the review! Dean better catch that Wendigo before it gives all of us nightmares!**

"Good morning sunshine!" Castiel's eyes flew open as he locked eyes with Dean who was dressed in day clothes and a grin.

"Dean? Do humans not usually sleep when it is still dark outside?" He rubbed his eyes groggily as Dean practically beamed at him.

"Yes, but not when they plan on fishing that day. Come one sleepy head, we need to go stir up the water!"

Castiel just buried his face in his pillow with his butt in the air. "grupmnnhphh."

"Cas. Get your feathery ass up or else!" Dean grabbed his pillow and whacked Castiel with it as the angel laughed into the pillow.

"Dean stop!" Castiel tried to bury further under the blanket as Dean burrowed with him. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him into a bear hug as Castiel thrashed about. Castiel could feel his breath catch as Dean held him close to his chest for a while; heart beats nearly synchronized to the same erratic rhythm. "Cas I…" Dean began huskily as Sam burst into the tent.

"Hey guys!" He noticed a lump under the covers and shook his head. Sam climbed on top of them and hugged them both as they both laughed and hugged him back.

"Get off Sam you sasquatch!" Castiel felt a happy warmth start in his heart and travel throughout his body as he wrestled with Sam and Dean. Was he finally one of the boys? Castiel had never stopped hoping that he would leave his third wheel status behind him, and slowly but surely he was being absorbed into the small Winchester family.

"C'mon guys. Let's get some breakfast and then we can get down to the river." Dean reached out a hand to both Castiel and Sam before raising them to their feet.

Castiel absently pushed around the cereal in his bowl as Dean brought out a tackle box and a few fishing poles. "Okay Sammy, we still need a net. Do you have the worms?"

"Got 'em Dean."

Castiel came over to Dean and stood directly behind him, a process much more awkward to do now that Dean wouldn't let him zap there. Sam covered up a laugh with the back of his hand sine he knew exactly what Castiel was doing. "Jesus!" Dean turned around and nearly knocked over a shocked Castiel. "What are you doing Cas?"Castiel stared at Dean quietly. "Okay Cas. I'm sorry. What's up?"

"I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help?"

Dean smiled back at him. "Sure thing Cas. We need to set up the poles so I can teach you how." Castiel nodded gratefully. "Okay. See this?" Dean held up a small brightly colored bauble. "I am going to put a bobber on your pole. That way you can tell if you have caught something or not. It will sink under the water if a fish has grabbed it." Dean placed a bobber stop below it and slid on a split-shot as Castiel watched him intently. "Now for the last part. The hook. It's important that you remember to spit on the line after you have twisted the line six times. Otherwise the line will snap off…"

Sam sat on a nearby log as he watched Dean and Castiel with a smile. This was one of those moments that Dean embodied their father. Sure they had seen little of the man, Sam even less than Dean, but there were moments that he would never forget with him. Like when John had taught Dean the same thing he was teaching Castiel in that very moment. Except there was more patience where Dean was concerned and even failure was rewarded with a smile from Dean.

"Yeah, just like that Cas. Now pull the line tight. There we go."

"You about ready Dean? I got everything packed up." Sam zipped up the tent as Dean nodded. 

"Come on Cas."

Castiel looked concerned back at the tent. "Don't we have to put that away before we leave?"

"Nah. No campers and we put all the food in the car so I figure we are good. No bears are gonna be getting up in that shit."

They followed a jagged trail down to the stream, about a mile or two from the place they had set up camp. The entire area was breath taking. Dragonflies dipped over the clear water and fish could clearly be seen as they dabbled among the rocks. Lush vegetation curled around the water's edges and dipped lightly into the water as aspen trees cast their skinny shadows.

"Sure is beautiful out here." Sam took in a deep breath as he gazed about them; amazed at what could be found outside of their usual haunt: the city.

Castiel nodded as he trailed happily after Dean. "Here Cas, this can be your pole." Castiel smiled at the blue rod as he nodded him. Dean tangled a worm onto the hook as Castiel looked on curiously. "Now I am going to show you how to cast, okay Cas?" Dean placed the pole into the angel's hands as he stepped behind him. Castiel could feel a light blush trailing over his face as Dean placed his larger hands over Castiel's. "Okay. We are going to swing back and when I tell you too, let go of the button."

"What button Dean?" Castiel felt his breath hitch as Dean pressed his hand against Castiel's over the drag button.

"Ready Cas?" Castiel nodded as he gazed forward looking determined.

"I am ready Dean." Sam just watched them as he shook his head. He figured that Dean was teaching Castiel how to fish, not talking him through birthing a baby. He was very curious about the two of them and found their dynamic very entertaining. Watching his brother open up again made him happy even though his was a bit jealous that he hadn't been able to bring Dean out of his protective shell in the same way. Castiel himself wasn't all that open or bubbly but practically everything he did made Dean's face light up in a smile. Soon Sam and Dean had also set up their poles and cast them into the clear water and they relaxed on the bank as the sun traveled up to the top of the sky.

Castiel' forehead furrowed as he watched the red and white bobber disappear underneath the water. "Dean?"

"What is up Cas? Not bored yet, are you? Thought a nerd angel might enjoy something like this."

"No it is not that Dean, the…erm…floating contraption sunk. Did I break something?"

Dean laughed, delighted. "Naw Cas, I think you just have a fish on the other end. Stay right there, the fish bites and pulls and you just tug that pole the other way. Towards yourself."

Castiel looked panicked at Dean. "I'm not sure, Dean! Where are you going?"

"To get the net. Jesus Cas, don't have a cow over there. Worst thing that could happen is you lose the fish." He smiled evilly as he snatched up the net. "Or it swallows the entire hook and drags you into its veil watery lair."

Castiel eyed the dark spot in the water where the bobber had disappeared with trepidation. Now he wasn't so sure that he really wanted to catch the fish...maybe he should try and let it go…The fish bit and tugged. Without thinking about it Castiel tugged back just as hard and nearly landed on his butt as Dean came running over with the net. "C'mon Cas! Reel it in!" Dean dropped the net next to him as he stood behind Castiel once more. Dean put an arm around Castiel and placed the angel's thin fingers on one hand over the reel and placed two fingers on the left hand on the line. "Let the line run through your fingers or it will get all tangled." Castiel shivered with something that felt like pleasure as Dean's breath tickled his ear. "Let's give him some slack, he's a fighter." Castiel stuck out a bit of his tongue in concentration as he let out some line and began to pull the fish onto the bank.

"I see him Dean!" The usually stoic Castiel looked giddy as he saw the great fish leaving splashes of water behind it as it fought with all of its might. Sam hurried over as the fish surfaced and flopped onto the bank. He chased the fish for a while and nearly lost it before scooping it up in the net at the absolute last minute. Dean let go of Castiel and ran over to the net where the angry creature fought to tangle itself more and more into the net.

"Come on you little shit!" The fish meanly bit his finger with its small, sharp teeth. "Jesus Cas, you caught yourself a little monster."

"It's definitely a northern pike Cas, nice catch!" Castiel gave Sam a quick smile before staring in awe at the wriggling scaly thing. Its mouth protruded outward and it looked a bit like the picture of a crocodile he had once seen, except it had fins instead of four legs.

Dean untangled the fish and quickly pulled the hook out of its lip. He held it in both hands out towards Castiel. "Man Cas, I would have to say that this son of a bitch has to be what, five pounds?" The tail slapped at his hand and Dean nearly dropped it as sharp fins scratched his hands. "Do you want to hold him?"

Castiel looked at it thoughtfully before nodding. The thrashing fish seemed to calm down instantly in the angel's hands as he took it from Dean. He looked at it for a while before glancing up at Dean. "What do we do with him now?"

Dean smiled down at him. "Cook him. That's what you do with a fish."

Castiel looked at it quietly, picturing a small tear rolling out of its eye when it was simply lake water. "Not him Dean. Please?"

Dean ran a hand through his hair tiredly. He sighed. "Alright Cas. Seems like a waste, but he is your fish after all."

Castiel smiled at its rather mean mug and whispered "_You are mine."_ He fondly set it in the water and looked in shock when the fish scratched him with its fin before wriggling its fat body once more into the lake.

Sam and Dean cracked up as the fish splashed the angel with water and disappeared. "Haha, shows how grateful those sons of bitches are. Are you alright Cas?" He leaned over and took Castiel's scratched hand in his own. Castiel nodded as he looked confused at the area that the fish disappeared at. Even a being so simple as a fish baffled him on this earth. Castiel had no idea how if he couldn't comprehend a fish he was supposed to learn to be human. He smiled at Dean before walking back towards his pole as Dean practically beamed at him. "What a trooper." The rest of the afternoon was spent fishing with a few nice trout for everyone. Dean embarrassed himself by valiantly struggling with a fish that looked small enough to belong in an aquarium.

Unbeknownst to the travelers; the Wendigo had found their camp first. The thing they had hunted had tracked them down while the stood laughing on the serene bank. It sniffed at the air and nearly danced in excitement as it rooted around in their belongings. It was time to learn a little about his prey. It captured the smell of shampoo on a blue pillow. Scattered the loose leafs of paper and drawings hidden in a sleeping bag. Worried the buttons on a leather jacket. It crawled around the Impala and attempted to open the door. Locked. The Wendigo heard voices returning to the camp as it slid a tongue over a red, hungry mouth. A tree sheltered its thin form as it watched the boys tramp back into their camp. Jealous eyes watched them as they greedily attacked the fish they had caught that day. It is often said of predators that they attack the weak. Find the sickliest member of the pack and kill it. Colorless eyes slid over Sam. Too big. The man was the tallest and obviously strong. Dean was also tough, even if he was smaller than his brother. But most of all, he was the dominant one. He cared for both the mammoth and the smallest member of their pack. The Wendigo could not take its eyes off of the soft pale skin of Castiel. Innocent blue eyes and a need for a leader. It crouched up in its hide out as it watched its first victim smile and force a stick with a marshmallow into the fire with gusto. How lucky. The Wendigo was hungry tonight. And it looked like he had just happened upon dinner.


	4. What Is and What Should Never Be

Super sorry! I am not sure what happened, but this is the REAL chapter lol I looked up the reviews and was confused when everyone said it was short so I checked it out and most of the chapter didn't post. I was like 3000 words short? Haha sorry guys, enjoy!

Hey guys! Sorry I took so long to post this chapter :O I've been busy but I forced myself to type this out today. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. And thank you for all of the reviews on the last chapter, you guys rock!

Punk81- Welcome aboard! Thank you, your review was delightful. Yeah I figure Dean and Cas have so much chemistry initially it just needs a nudge in the right direction ;)

Darkphoenix2345- Haha yeah it better if it doesn't want to get Winchestered good and proper! Glad you thought it was cute!

Haventmetmyangelyet-Hey! :D I know! That Wendigo is freaky. The very idea of it scares me :o I loooove that episode though. I love Cas and Dean and fishing, so why not have it all, right?

AngelicAbomination- That's Sam for yah! Yeah maybe I can find a way to scar that Wendigo for life instead of the other way around.

Rinienne- Thank you for the review! I will hopefully post the next chapter much sooner :D

"What Is and What Should Never Be"

Dean wiped hands on his trousers as he threw the last bit of his s'more into the flames. "C'mon Cas. Let's get cleaned up so we don't smell like ass." Dean leaned over the angel and snuffled his nose loudly. "Mmmmhmm. But you never smell funky. Must be an angel thing…or a you thing." Castiel tilted his head to the side, confused with Dean's antics as always. Sam chuckled and stamped out the last orange ambers as Castiel wrapped his arms around himself and gazed around him.

The woods were quiet tonight. A light murmur of wind scattered pine needles and brought new life to the dead leaves at the angel's feet. The silence troubled him. Not that Castiel had always preferred white noise. He had grown accustomed to the banter between Sam and Dean or Led Zeppelin blaring in the Impala. The wind had quieted down and now a deceiving silence had settled into the camp. Even the banter of the nocturnal animals had seemed to slip below a whisper in the close deepness of the night itself. Inky black spilled across the sky and exposed the fathomless expanse of the cosmos. Now that Castiel had been spending so much time with the Winchester brothers, he had almost forgotten just how big the universe really was. And just how the beings of this small planet moved him to feel such startlingly strong emotions. He had always looked at his father's creations with wonder, but now he could be one with them. It seemed so intimate and left him breathless. He nearly felt dizzy when he stood next to Dean and longed for the approving smiles rarely tossed his way. The soft brush of the man's hand upon his own nearly drove him into a frenzied state. He took his breath away. The rare times when it was Dean getting in Castiel's personal space he could feel his whole body and mind come to life. Sometimes he would feel an unquenchable yearning for a more personal touch. For Dean to do something. Castiel wasn't sure what. He didn't even mind the way Dean used him as the butt of most of his jokes since he had often seen him to the same to Sam. Castiel had become a member of their small family and even he hadn't realized what an effect he had on them. Dean was practically cheerful with the angel around. The addition of a third member to the duo had been the much needed neutralizing element. Now Dean and Sam were fighting less since Castiel "training" was distracting them from the stress that accompanied the apocalypse and the possible destruction of the very earth itself.

"CAS. Earth to Castiel!" Wide blue eyes trailed over the hunter's handsome face, oblivious to the curious smile on the man's face. "Hey there Forest. Ready to jet? Let's go."

"But I thought that there were no hygienic accommodations in the forest?"

Dean shook his head at Castiel in amusement as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Nope. We are using only the natural goodies at our disposal. We are going green." Dean slide his left hand onto Castiel's thin shoulder. "Grab a towel and come on." Castiel trailed quietly after Dean with his usual look of bemusement as he prepared to learn another lesson that he was afraid he would fail miserably at. He glanced at Sam who gave him an encouraging smile as they stopped at the edge of the river. A fish splashed near the edge of the river. Castiel's eyes widened. He could swear that it was his fish from their earlier excursion to the river.

"Hey Cas, I think I just saw your fish!" Castiel gave Sam a distracted half smile before he practically sped down to the bank.

Dean shook his head fondly with a grin. "Damn he's cute sometimes."

Sam looked amused and eyed his brother. "Cute?"

Dean's ears went a bit pink. "Uhh…yeah. Like a lost puppy." He glanced at Sam. "And so do you Fido."

"Jerk."

"Bitch." The boys looked surprised as they heard Castiel splash into the water with a look of deep concentration. "Cas? Hey Cas! What the hell do you think you are doing you crazy son of a bitch?"

Castiel plunged both arms into the water as he pulled out a wriggling fish. He gasped in shock as the fish slapped him in the face; leaving behind a startling red cut on his fair skin. "I have him Dean!" Castiel waded back into the water as Castiel placed the fish on the dirt next to the Winchesters. Sam and Dean glanced back and forth at each other before they burst out laughing at the very confused angel.

Dean wiped a tear away from his eye. "Cas, why did you catch him again? I thought we weren't allowed to kill the sucker?"

Castiel looked almost distasteful. "Of course not. I… wanted to bring him with us…" Castiel stared down at the water quietly as Dean tried to regain eye contact with him.

"Cas? Cas?" Dean tilted the angel's chip up with his hand, surprised to feel the light shudder that ran through his body. "Are you cold?"

Castiel shook his head and dropped the fish in surprise as Dean grasped his hand. "C'mon Cas. You don't want to go tramping around in a river with that trench coat on. More clothing makes you more likely to drown." Dean chattered away as he tried to get the image of a dripping wet, naked Castiel out of his mind. His mind was so often in the gutter that he figured he should be surprised that a shape shifter wasn't hiding along with it. He pushed the unpleasant memory out of his mind as he helped Castiel to the bank. Dean frowned when he noticed that the cut on Castiel's cheek was still there. Normally the angel would have healed something so minor in a heartbeat. Sure, Dean had told Castiel to hold back on the angel mojo usage, but Castiel seemed to like keeping himself tidy. Even if he still had no idea how to properly wear a tie. Sam was already splashing in the water when Dean helped Castiel out of his coat.

"Erm… you can get out of the rest yourself, right?" Castiel nodded, not understanding why Dean was acting so nervous.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Cas?" Dean hung the trench coat over the limb of a scraggly tree; greatly amused by the fact that Castiel naturally put it on over the regular clothes he had bought him. He toyed with a sleeve as he locked eyes with Castiel.

"Are you, okay?" Castiel tilted his head to the side as he looked Dean over.

Dean guffawed. "Of course Cas. Now-" Dean was stopped in midsentence as Castiel casually pulled the wet blue t-shirt over his head. Dean's jaw nearly dropped to the ground as he took in the sight of Castiel's flawless ivory skin. 'Son of a bitch. Knew he was pretty and all, but damn it he is really kinda… beautiful.' Dean thought as he tried to tear his eyes away from the lovely vision. Castiel did not acknowledge his presence as he fumbled with the button on his pants. He curled the tip of his tongue over his top lip in concentration.

Dean tried to speak and couldn't at first, his mouth had gone so dry. "Umm Cas?" He asked hoarsely.

Castiel nodded at him. "Yes Dean?"

"Do…do you need any help?" Son of a bitch! Now he sounded almost as gay as Sam when he sung country ballads or ordered a salad at a bar.

Castiel eyed the ground and bit his lip. After a moment he nodded, defeated. "Oh man, what's wrong Cas?"

"Nothing." Castiel glanced at the river a bit moodily. Great. The only thing Castiel seemed to have learned from Dean was how to lie. And Castiel did a horrendous job of it.

"Come here." Dean swallowed as Castiel stepped right up next to him, noses nearly touching. "Uhh Cas?" The angel glanced up at him. "That's close enough." Dean took a deep breath, not really believing he was about to do this. He rested his hands on the soft skin of the angel's hips as his breath caught in his throat. Dean bent down and undid the button as he felt Castiel tremble once more. He glanced up. Castiel's eyes were closed and Dean could see his dark eyelashes lightly flutter. His full mouth was slightly parted and Dean could hear him breathing just as heavily as himself. Heat began to pool in his groin as he gently rested his fingers on the zipper; a small splinter of silver in the moonlight. His eyes widened as he felt Castiel's body reacting to his touch and watched a light flush of pink ghost over the angel's cheekbones. Castiel turned his head away slightly and opened his eyes in surprise when he felt Dean's finger tips on his cheek.

"Dean." Castiel locked eyes with the hunter and Dean could see the confusion behind the blue irises. The angel looked so innocent sometimes, when he didn't know something or wasn't in the middle of smiting a demon. In this moment Dean knew he was looking upon an otherworldly creature. Castiel himself was so strange and awkward with ordinary things that Dean was often reminded that he was not, in fact, human. But there had been a change. Castiel was the same fish out of water, but the humanity that had begun to creep into his person grew every day and Dean had taken notice. But here he was; ethereal and untouchable as he had always been. Dean brought the angel closer to him even as he felt the distance attempting to rip them apart. No. He leaned in and kissed Castiel lightly on the mouth. Dean had seen so much evil things that should have remained untrue details of a children's book so it was time to collect something good. Castiel…the angel's mouth was soft against his. Dean opened his mouth slightly and felt Castiel do the same. He could feel something building up in his chest and could not specifically define it. His heart, brain, and lungs were on fire and tremors of electricity seemed to be tunneling throughout his entire body.

"Dean? Cas? What happened to you guys, are you alright?"

Dean pulled away from Castiel as they both jumped. "Son of a bitch." He kissed Castiel lightly on the forehead before he headed casually down to the river. "Don't get your panties in a bunch Sammy. Cas just needed help…with something."

"Uh-huh. Help with what?" Sam smiled smugly at his brother as Castiel wandered out after Dean.

"Shut up bitch." Soon the boys were splashing each other and shouting loudly. Dean soaped up Castiel's hair for him as Sam tried to choke back his laughter.

"He's not a baby Dean. Just tell Cas what to do and he will figure it out." Castiel frowned at Sam. Normally he would be delighted that Sam found him to be a competent individual but right now he was reveling in the closeness of Dean. They soon dried off and tramped back to camp, shivering lightly in the night air.

"Hey, looks like someone went through my bag." Sam eyed the strewn contents of his duffle bag. They were in a messy pile next to the bag; as if someone had been shuffling through them before being unexpectedly interrupted.

"Yeah and they also decided to root around in our tent. It's unzipped." Dean's face broke into a grin. "I believe that we should assume that our perpetrator is a greedy little blonde girl."

Sam rolled his eyes as Castiel narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Yeah Dean. I'm sure it's Goldilocks. I don't think we are dealing with the same fairy tale case here Dean."

Dean tried to catch Sam's eye. "That makes us the three bears." He gave his brother a cheesy grin.

Sam shook his head. "Dean, no joking around. Someone's been through our stuff."

"I thought no one lived in this area?" Dean nodded. I thought so too. Strange huh?"

"Yeah. Man this is weird. A little too strange for my liking Dean. Campers aren't allowed out here." Sam ran a hand through his hair worriedly.

"Mhhmm. Maybe a poacher?"

"I don't know. But we need to be less lax on the security. Someone…or something is out here with us."

The boys brushed their teeth uneasily as the stood in the now chilly night air. "Sammy. I think you should stay in the tent with us tonight. I don't want you to be singled out." Sam nodded and dragged his sleeping bag into the tent. Sam placed his gun by the sleeping bag and unwound his Ipod and plugged the head phones into his ears as Castiel and Dean wandered into the tent. Dean crawled into his and Castiel's sleeping bag pile as he gazed at the top of the tent. He heard Castiel snuggle quietly snuggle next to him and let a grin slide across his face. Dean pulled Castiel into his arms. For a while Castiel lay with his head on Dean's chest, listening to his heartbeat as Sam began to snore. Dean tilted up his chin and kissed him as the night seemed to still around them. Soon nothing mattered but the frantic discarding of clothing and the need to touch and taste; to explore the territory that had once seemed forbidden. Castiel lay his head back on a pillow as Dean rolled on top of him and left a trail of kisses down his neck. Dean tugged the shirt off of Castiel as the angel writhed against him, every once sleeping sense now awakened and crying out for some sort of release. Dean felt triumphant when he was finally able to not only flick open the button on Castiel's pants but to slide them off of his body. When Dean finally slid into the body below him he had completely forgotten that he was defiling an angel. He felt so real. Soft cries filled the air as Castiel's nails scratched down Dean's back. Dean lost it when Castiel whimpered his name one last time before laying limp in his arms.

A change had begun in the angel since he had met Dean, and now it was beginning to come full circle. A torrent of shielded and oft unused feeling came crashing out. Castiel felt everything. The night air on his bare skin, Dean's warmth seeping into his body, and the pure emotion that left him dizzy and lost in its wake. Castiel let out a soft gasp as tears started at his eyes and began to slide down his face.

"Cas? Are you…crying?"

"Dean…I…" Castiel cried heavily against his chest as he was assailed with feelings he could not yet understand. It was like gifting sight to a man who had always known darkness or the cheap caricatures his lonely mind conjured up.

"What's wrong Cas?" Dean pulled him in closer.

Castiel shook his head at him. "I don't know Dean. I…am confused Dean."

"Aren't you always?" Dean chided gently.

Castiel actually smiled as he tried to wipe away the tears. "Not like this Dean. I followed my orders and loved my father and brothers. There was nothing else to it. But I have already known doubt and guilt. I cannot place what I am feeling now. With you.

Dean gripped his hand tightly."Cas I…I want you to know that I…care about you." He nearly kicked himself for not shouting 'I love you' right in Castiel's face.

Castiel nodded as he rested his forehead against Dean's. "I think I care about you too." Dean grinned when he saw the strangely human look in Castiel's eyes. He didn't need Castiel to vocally confirm what he saw reflected back at him in blue. Love. Castiel was a funny creature. Not quite human and less like the usual angel dicks, Castiel loved him. Dean felt as giddy as a school girl as he held him to his chest and listened to him breathe softly. Soon Dean was also asleep.

Castiel awoke in Dean's arms with the night still visiting the forest. He heard strange noises in the darkness and felt what he didn't understand to be fear nestle in his heart. Something evil was at work. Castiel slipped out of Dean's arms and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He pulled on the trench coat before he looked over Sam. Once he was assured of his well being he snuck out of the tent. A light rain dripped from the trees as the wind began to pick up. He was cold. Castiel drew his coat closer about him as he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of the cold, clean air. Rain was upon it and so was the smell of the wet earth. Castiel let his eyes roam about the clearing before he turned to reenter the tent. Something cold and clammy gripped him and covered his mouth with a foul hand. Castiel wrestled and let out no cry as the thing bit into his tender flesh. The monster knocked his forehead against a stone until he went still. Blood pooled about him and his now nearly human body laid there stagnant when it would normally have guard him from most of the pain while his flesh nit back together. Castiel now knew that what he was feeling was called fear. His foggy brain began to quiet as the Wendigo grappled with his limp form and dragged it away from the clearing. The only evidence of the angel would be the blood coagulating slick and dark on the moss or the frantic cries of his friends as they searched for him in the morning. The trees shook quietly and some of the night loving animals forsook their burrows as the threat tunneled under the earth with one of the Lord's fallen angels in tow.


	5. Nobody's Fault But Mine

**Helloooooo! Here is your next chapter :) This time I'm going to make sure the WHOLE chapter posts before I go to sleep. Thanks for reviewing, you guys really rock and make this story really fun to write!**

**Angelic Abomination- Haha yeah let's get ready for some avenging angel action! Mmmm me too :D**

**Rinienne- That's for the new review! Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked the scene :) :) **

**Darkphoenix2345-Hah tru dat homes! And I felt bad about leaving Sam outside by himself, especially after Angelic Abomination mentioned that :D **

**Forbiddenlover1- Aww that is so nice! I feel the same when I get reviews on my stories!**

**Haventmetmyangelyet-Hey! Thanks :) I just love them. Glad you reread it and found the real chapter!**

**PaulatheCat- Haha oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!**

"Nobody's Fault But Mine"

Dean awoke from a refreshing sleep only to find Castiel absent from his arms. He stretched and got out of bed groggily, figuring the angel had just bet him out of there for once. Now that the angel had discovered the world of dreams he seemed to want to make up for all the years he hadn't had the opportunity. Dean would never tell anyone, but he found the idea extremely cute. Castiel was also a major cuddler a fact that he should have inferred before he shared the same tent with him. Since he had abandoned his family to help out Sam and Dean he seemed to enjoy nothing more than being as close to Dean as he could possibly be at all times. Dean now knew that the strange behavior meant that Castiel was more than fond of him and unsure of how to express such alien feelings. Dean chuckled. Well he had sure expressed plenty of feeling last night. He stretched and slipped on some clothes as Sam still slept on like nothing in the world could wake him. Lucky for Dean and Cas. Sam had no idea how many times Dean had brought someone into their room while he was sleeping and snuck them out before dawn. Having Sam catch him with Castiel was more risky so Dean figured they would have to wait for nightfall that night for uninterrupted intimacy.

"Hey Cas." Dean peeked his head out of the tent and surveyed the camp ground. The angel was nowhere to be found. "Cas? You didn't zap somewhere did you? C'mon man." Dean was starting to panic as he circled the tent. The sky was overcast with an angry assortment of angry gray clouds. Thunder rumbled in displeasure in the distance. "Cas? Where are you?" Damn it where was that angel?

Dean burst into the tent. "Sam. SAMMY GET YOUR LAZY SASQUATCH ASS OUT OF BED. CAS IS MISSING."

"What?" Sam sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. "Dean, Cas always teleports somewhere without a word. It's what he does. Why all the worry now?"

"Because he is almost out of angel juice you dumb son of a bitch! I told him not to zap anywhere unless it was necessary or if I said so."

Sam nodded. "Yeah. And Cas does seem to listen to everything you say."He cleared his throat. "I noticed that both of you decided to forgo the single sleeping bags and double up."

Dean threw him a glare. "Not the time for that Sam. Come on. Maybe he is after that damn fish at the river again." Sam and Dean sped down a hill and reached the river just as the rain began to pour. As they searched around the bank they became just as muddy and wet as they were worried about their missing angel. "Cas! Castiel! Get your feathery ass back here!"

Sam ran a hand through his hair. "Dean, I don't think he's here."

"Thanks for the update Captain Obvious."

"Wanna check over the camp again? If Cas zapped somewhere that is probably where we will find him when he zaps back. Dean nodded and followed Sam as he tried to fight the sickening worry that made his head dizzy and knees weak. He was supposed to take care of Cas. God knew the poor sap couldn't look out for himself without someone calling the shots. He trusted Dean. And damn if Dean didn't know it. He had seen the looks in Castiel's eyes when the angel stood there staring, even alongside that dick of an angel, Uriel. He had braved so many things for Dean even as his fear told him to hold back. To wait for the orders he had always listened to. Dean knew that it was all for him and that Castiel hadn't even told him the half of what he had done for him. He killed his own family. Stabbed the silver angel sword through siblings he had known for centuries. Dean tried to picture killing Sam or their father and the very idea made him even more shaky and ill. What had he done for Cas? He taught him to think more for himself whilst introducing him to all of the negative emotions from Pandora's pox. Dean wasn't even sure if Cas was so much making decisions on his own than following Dean's orders. He gave him orders just as John had given his sons. Pain and even fear had begun to show in the angel's eyes. And he looked so tired now. His powers diminished daily as he frantically failed around for something or someone to hold onto. And now Cas was lost somewhere. Dean didn't tell Sam but he was afraid that Castiel didn't have enough Grace to even zap somewhere and even if he did Dean had told him not to. What if the poor son of a bitch could have zapped to safety from danger? What if he had taken Dean's advice in his usual literal logic?

"I'm going to try and call him." Dean closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Now I lay me down to sleep…I hope you weren't taken by some creep. Cas. Come on. Please talk to me. I need to know…that you're alright." He peeked out of one eye and looked around. "He's not here. Why is he not here!" Dean punched the tree next to him and grimaced when the rough bark scraped up his knuckles.

"Dean. It's okay. We'll find him."

"Yeah but what if we don't Sam? What if that poor son of a bitch got himself killed by something he normally could have smited in seconds?"

"Well…we don't know anything yet. I think we should go back to the campsite and check. C'mon. Like I said, I'm sure if he's alright he will be there."

Dean nodded as he put his scratched hand in his mouth. "Let's go."Sam and Dean hurried into their campsite to give it a more thorough look over.

"Dean. Come over here." Dean squatted next to his brother.

"Damn it. That's a lot of blood. "

Sam nodded as he looked at the deep red staining the rock in front of them. "Do you think it's…" he swallowed. "Do you think it's from Cas?"

"It looks relatively fresh." Dean stood up and walked around the area. "Found some more." Normally blood didn't bother Dean. Hell, he sure had seen more than his fair share of blood in his life but this made his own blood run cold. The idea of something strong enough to spill this much of his angel's blood left him terrified and shaken.

"What do you think happened? I know Cas could take on a wild animal. Demons maybe?"

Dean shook his head. "And they say you're the smart one. Sammy, why would a demon be way the hell out here?"

"Okay Dean. You have got to calm down." He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I think I know what we are dealing with." He laughed. "How did we not think of it? Look man, we have been too freaked out to even think clearly."

"What Sam? I don't get the humor in this. Just tell me or shut up you son of a bitch!"

"It's the Wendigo. Dean, we came out here to hunt this thing, right? Well I think that this thing is hunting us instead. Remember how something went through our stuff yesterday? A monster or animal would have scattered everything. No. Whatever has got Cas has to be human enough to act in that manner. And have pose able thumbs. Don't you see it man? We have been too sloppy. Or at least too distracted. To you Cas is like a new puppy."

"A what-"

"Dean, just listen. I know you. You give your entire focus over to one thing. Sometimes it's a good thing. Being obsessed has helped you catch most of the monsters we go after. I don't know how he did it, but Cas has become your priority."

"He needs me Sam."

Sam frowned at him. "I'm sorry Dean, but I'm not sure he does. Cas needs the basics but he learns quickly. Maybe you need him more than he needs you?"

Dean turned away slightly so he could wipe off the tears that were starting in his eyes. He took a deep breath and turned around with his poker face once more intact. It was unnerving how much he looked like John when he did that and Sam braced himself for the expected onslaught. "Okay Sam. Maybe you're right. Maybe Cas would be better off without me. I know he has done everything he could, even things that shouldn't be possible just to save our asses. Damn it I know what he was done for us. Let me try and make this up to him okay? I got Cas booted out of heaven. So I am going to try to fix this. Okay?"

"Okay Dean."

"And when we get him back, I am not letting that feathery ass out of my site."

"Is it ever?"

"What? Shut it bitch."

"No way dean." Sam stood in front of his brother and started to grin. "I really can't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"You love him don't you dean?" Dean sputtered and attempted to look dignified once more. "You do! At first I thought it was just Cas crushing on you. Than you two were all over each other yesterday, which was disgusting by the way. Next time there is a Wendigo in the woods, I am staying outside with it."

"Damn it Sam I am not. Now let's get going before there isn't even a Castiel to save."

"Well even if you aren't, Cas sure is in love with you." Sam watched dean freeze up a bit before they followed the trail. Yup. Dean definitely was after more than a slice of angel food cake. He wanted the whole cake. Sam just hoped they found Cas before it was too late. He knew that Wendigos would keep their victim alive long enough to feed off of them. And the very idea of it feeding of Cas made him ill. Looking at Dean and seeing the worry present in every move he made, he knew that there was no way this Wendigo would get out of being properly ganked by Dean Winchester.

The mines were old. Rust had swallowed any piece of metal left behind from the now absent presence of humanity. Broken carts lay submerged under earth that had never absorbed the warmth of the sun. It was the perfect place to hide something. No one lived here except for the Wendigo and the occasional animal brave enough or perhaps stupid enough to wander into this ignored section of the earth's bower. Castiel found himself fighting off evil dreams only to awake in a more evil reality. The wound on his head throbbed but Castiel could no longer feel the blood running down the side of his face. Now it was spilling out of other veins in his hurt body. The angel could remember the thing grasping him from behind; the pain of his skull cracking against a rock. He had remained conscious as the monster dragged him through the forest. One clammy hand clamped to his now bruised and swollen ankle. The thing had bitten his arm and that wound had yet to close over. Castiel was surprised to find his wrists bound, albeit in a crude manor. He did not understand what could do this to him or why, but a small frantic voice inside his head was yelling at him to get out of there. As always, Castiel attempted to obey. His wrists began to chaff and bleed but Castiel had loosened the rough rope on one of his arms. He then heard the sound of something heavier than a rodent sneaking across the dust. He could hear its breathing as it came closer to him. Greater than the beast its self was the noise of his heart hammering in his chest as he attempted to free himself once more, immune to the pain for the moment. Pale eyes met his as the Wendigo sat back and looked him over; its tongue lolling out of a sharp mouth.

Castiel tried to pull away as he felt its disgusting hands on him once more. Teeth nipped at his dangling leg and Castiel let out a surprised cry of pain. He felt tendons ripping away in a neat manner, like the way someone attacked paper with a sharp pair of scissors. Blood ran freely down his leg and he could hear the monster gurgle in pleasure. Castiel nearly lost his mind when he thought he heard Dean. "Dean? Dean!" Blue eyes scanned the darkness for the man's familiar figure, but he was nowhere to be found. "_Dean_." Castiel closed his eyes and listened. Dean was saying something to him, but he couldn't understand. Was he calling for him? Castiel tried to return the message but Dean could not seem to hear him. The Wendigo sat back and eyed him for a moment, mouth sickeningly red with the angel's own blood. Castiel stared back at it quietly and felt relief sweep over him as the monster slowly made its way from the room and climbed upwards. All Castiel took a deep breath. He was grateful that the monster was leaving him alone, but more worried about the monster going after Dean and Sam. He would take the torment forever as long as it meant they stayed unharmed.

Castiel was left with the sound of his own blood dripping onto the dust below him as he did something he hadn't done for a while: prayed.


	6. Baby Come on Home

**Hey everyone! So I know I have not posted in two months, and for that I apologize. With work and school, I have not had much time to write at all :D So here is your next chapter, let me know what you think!**

**-Paperganstah**

**Paulathecat- Yup Dean is the man!**

**Darkphoenix2345- Haha don't worry, he has the Winchesters to save him! Yup poor Sam having to deal with those two.**

**Forbidden-lover1- Yeah he is being a weanie :p**

**Haventmetmyangelyet- Mmm that is my favorite type of Dean too!**

**Angelic Abomination- Ha love the "de-nile" line. Yup I could really go for some angel food cake…**

"Baby Come On Home"

Pain was a sensation Castiel had not known before. In the span of time he had spent in his heavenly garrison, Castiel had been wounded in the name of his father more times than he could count. He had healed himself from the stores of his grace and never thought much of it. That all changed when he found his way into a human vessel and nestled his very being within the body of something living and breathing. He was slowly learning to love and that he could be loved in return. He now had a glimpse into the emotions he often saw pass across both Dean and Sam's faces.

He was learning fast. He understood that being sad or knowing someone was disappointed in him were slightly different feelings but hurt the same. Castiel had learned of that hurting was not the same thing as pain. He had been wounded and healed countless times, but he had not truly known pain. The difference between the two was that pain could last long after he had healed himself.

Castiel was an angel of the lord and now he hung from frail chaffed wrists in a dark place of the earth. His grace was dwindling and he had been captured by a monster that he could have once vanquished in seconds with a simple flick of one of his now bound wrists.

The newly discovered feeling of fear crept upon him and made him sick and dizzy. It ebbed with the pounding in his head. He would almost lose his mind until he would think of Dean and feel a warmth within him that he assumed was hope. But in the lonely darkness those bursts of light were firing through his hurting body less often. He listened to blood drip from his body and felt it cool when it slipped away. Castiel now assumed he was dying. He had prepared himself for this moment before. When Dean asked him to abandon what he knew and follow him into the uncertainty that made up his and his brother's lives. He let Dean leave him to rescue Sam as he stood with the prophet and waited for the end. This was also a very possible road to his own death, but Castiel found himself quacking within this moment. Raphael would have smited him within seconds and scattered every element of his grace into the night.

This was different. Here he would die utterly alone. Here he was the plaything of a monster that gnawed at his sensitive flesh and sent the icy cold fear running through his body. Sensation had awakened in his body when Dean tilted back his head and kissed him by the lake. It had fired up every dead nerve in his body and even the slightest pressure of Dean's fingertips on his skin had made him gasp and shiver at the powerful pleasure granted him by the man's warm body.

Now that he was no longer drunk off of Dean he knew why the angels were punished from expressing emotion. He was doubtful and scared and more insecure of himself than he had ever been. When Dean was not there he was assaulted with so many of the negative emotions that he allowed himself to hang limply and allow his senses to dull.

"C'mon Samsquatch. We gotta get to him now. Before the monster chows him down, preferably."

Sam looked pinched at Dean. "I know. But look, we have no idea where this creature is holed up and we both know that it is smarter than you at least."

"Hey watch it you son of a bitch. That really hurt my feelings!"

Sam rolled his eyes. Dean's attempts at lightening the mood were just pathetic right now. He could tell his brother was barely containing panic at the very idea of Castiel's current fate. "Let's set up a couple of Molotov cocktails first."

"Good idea Sammy boy. Then we can properly gank the dick when we find him." Dean rummaged around in his pack and pulled out two beers. "Cheers brother, it's three o'clock somewhere, right? Dean chugged one in a minute and filled it with gasoline. "Got some rags besides the Toby Keith shirt in your bag?"

Sam frowned at him. "That's not a rag. I think he is a musical genius."

"Uh-huh. So you don't want me to "rag" on your man?"

Sam looked exceedingly pinched at this comment. "Look Dean. I know you are freaked out about Cas and everything, but you don't have to take it out on me with your crappy jokes."

Dean grimaced. "I know. Sorry Sammy. I don't want to hurt your sensitive self, but I am scared for Cas. Not to mention the fact that I hate Country."

"Hey without Country there would be no Rock."

"Without Country the world would suck a little less. Made your Molotov?" Sam nodded as he stuffed a piece of rag into the bottle. "I'm going to try to reach Cas again. Make a couple more of those."

"Sure Dean." Sam went back to work as his brother sighed and closed his eyes.

"Cas come on. I need to know that you are ok. Please give me something Cas!" Still nothing. "God damn it Cas, just pick up already! You'd better be dead if you aren't going to answer or I will just kill-Cas?"

"_Dean_." Dean could hear his friend's voice faintly in his head. He hoped that it was just a bad connection.

"_Cas? Dude are you in my head right now?"_

"_Yes, but I can't keep up this connection very long. Please Dean."_

"_What Cas?"_

"_I…I think I need help."_

Dean chuckled, relived that Cas was still alive enough to act like his usual self. _"Okay first things first. Are you hurt?" _Castiel nodded, not realizing that Dean couldn't see him at that moment. _"Cas? Damn it hang in there you son of a bitch!"_

"_I'm still here Dean."_

"_So why didn't you answer?"_ Dean sighed and ran a hand though his hair. _"You nodded didn't you."_

"_Yes Dean. I apologize." _

"_Nah don't. I can't see you right now Cas. That was cute, but don't do it again, 'time is of the essence.' Now, are you hurt?"_

"_Yes. I think I have lost a lot of blood but I am still currently alive."_

"_Good to know, I wouldn't have guessed that detail on my own." _He looked worried._ "Did the Wendigo…feed off of you?" _

Castiel nodded again and stopped himself. "_Yes he did." _Dean had never heard Castiel sound so quiet and scared before. And it terrified him.

"_It's okay buddy. Where do you think you are?" _

Castiel glanced around, attempting to avoid looking at the grizzly bodies hanging near him. _"I am not entirely sure. It is dark. I know that I must be underground somewhere and there are strange metal tracts."_

"_Are they rusty and in kind of a line?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Then he must be holed up in a mine shaft. What is with these creeps and hanging out in the mines with the Boonies? Stupid son of a bitch probably doesn't know that he has the Winchester's on his trail."_

"_No I am sure he hasn't. Wendigos don't use cell phones do they? Or computers like Sam? I am not sure how they would find out about you."_

Dean rolled his eyes. _"Okay Cas. Way to make me feel special."_

"_I am not sure how I did make you feel special, but you are welcome,"_ Castiel responded warmly.

"_Uhh yeah. Thanks Cas."_

"_Dean?"_

"_Yeah Cas?"_

"_Dean, when you get afraid, what do you do? I believe that I am feeling afraid right now."_

"_Just hang in there Cas. I'll find you. I promise."_

Dean leaned against a tree as he felt his heart clench in pain for his friend, and as of last night, lover. His poor Cas was trapped somewhere underground possibly bleeding to death and it was his fault for losing him. This was on him. He had never felt more like a failure but knew that this was not the time for self-pity. This was the time to haul his ass up and ice the son of a bitch that was killing his angel.

"Okay Sammy. We need to find Cas. Any idea on where to start?"

"Well, what did he tell you?"

Dean fussed with the top of his Molotov. "I am not sure exactly, but from what he described I'm pretty sure Mr. Wendigo is shacking up in a mine shaft."

"Typical."

"Yeah that's what I thought."

Sam looked thoughtful. "Okay, so I'm sure the mine was used to export its resources and import things for the miners."

"Wow Sam. That was really insightful. Not to mention how helpful it was."

Sam looked pinched. "Look man, you need to pay attention. What helps miners get from place to place in a more timely fashion?"

Dean grinned and Sam braced himself for another bad joke or awkward reference. "The Map."

"The what?" Sam looked confused, wondering if Dean was actually being serious for once.

"The Map. It's from Dora the Explorer."

"Just wow Dean. First Dr. Sexy and now you watch Dora? There is something very wrong with you bro."

Dean looked a bit put-off. "Okay then genius. What is the answer Alex Trebec?"

"You're on a roll today. A road Dean. People build roads to get to places faster."

"Well duh Sam, and here I thought you had thought up something good."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Well, I actually have. I noticed a really decrepit looking one that went off of the fishing trail. It's overgrown but looks wide enough that it would have fit large carts and animals before the mine was abandoned."

"So we follow the road and we find Cas?"

"Yeah. Let's get moving."

The boys found their way to the river but did not stop to enjoy its scenery like before. The dragon flies flitted over the water unnoticed. Fish darted into the shallows. Everything was quiet and it would have bothered the brothers if they had paid attention. Unlike Dean, the Wendigo had already known that they would follow the path. Straight into his lair to be hung up on hooks and slowly bled out as the Wendigo removed their flesh in strips.

Pale eyes narrowed when it caught the whiff of gasoline when the gigantic one poured it into a bottle. They were up to something. The Wendigo had smelled the similar kerosene on the lamps that hunters brought into his woods. He knew that where there was gasoline fire was soon to follow. He would have to rid them of their weapons before they tried to rescue their pretty little friend.

The Wendigo knew that there was something strange about that one. He bled like the others but there was something almost…pure about him. There was an innocence about him that the Wendigo loved to tear at along with his sensitive skin. Confusion at the pain, at the newness of fear. He was another sort of creature and the Wendigo could not place what. Somewhere in his once human mind he could recall flashes of his past life. Of campfires that warmed his food instead of scaring him into a man-made hole in the earth. Of catching plentiful game in the spring and others there to share it.

Before the hungry winter, before he placed warm chunks of human flesh into his mouth, he was human and felt things he could no longer define. He was very old and had forgotten about the things that pleased humans. Now it returned to him in small increments.

He liked the deep blue of his captive's eyes. The softness of his skin. The way he smelled of lost things that lived above his dank home. He had enjoyed listening to the pleas of other captives but this one remained silent. He would hear him scream bargains at him before long. When he finally killed his two protectors then it would just be them and the darkness until either he tired of the blue eyed beauty or another spell of famine came upon him. But now it was time to hunt once more.


	7. In the Dark

**Hey all! Here is your next chapter. Thanks mucho to the reviewers! This is an edit of the last chapter, I broke down some paragraph chunks. Thanks to Forbidden-lover1!**

**Haventmetmyangelyet- Yup fer sure. Good to be back! Haha I know, but seriously, who wouldn't? **

**Darkphoenix2345- Haha glad you liked that! Oh Dean and his taste in TV shows! Haha I definitely agree with you, the Wendigo couldn't have better taste.**

**ChelseaEllie- Thanks, glad you like it! Yup needs to make sure he takes good care of him ;D**

"In the Dark"

"Are we there yet? We have been following this shit road for hours Sammy." Dean furiously stomped over a bush and scared out a startled group of butterflies. "And when I talked to Cas earlier, he didn't sound like he had hours!'" Dean practically shouted in Sam's face.

"Look man, I'm worried about Cas too. But this is our only option. I can't make this road get to its end any faster than you can. So shut up and be patient for once."

Dean looked surprised at his brother's back as Sam marched ahead of him and even his shoulders looked stiff and crabby. "Jesus you don't have to get mean about it!"

Sam rolled his eyes and kept walking. He knew that Dean was just letting off nervous energy but after hours of listening to Dean's never ending play list of crap jokes and concerns for Cas, he had just about had it. He might not have had a steamy night with the angel in the tent but it didn't mean that he didn't care about Castiel. He was ready to kick the Wendigo's ass to save him and if Dean kept this up, kick his ass too.

"Dean look. Blood." Sam squatted down by the dried pool of blood. They had been following the trail for hours and it still was giving evidence of a bleeding angel. "Poor guy, the Wendigo must have torn him up pretty bad just from dragging him into its cave."

Dean looked ill. "That son of a bitch. I just want to take the Molotov and shove it up where the light doesn't shine." Dean waved the Molotov in the air. "Come and get some shit weasel!"

"Seriously Dean?"

Dean ignored him and marched ahead of Sam to take the lead in the chase once more. "Damn it, this Wendigo is harder to find than Carman Sandiego."

Sam looked pinched. "Dude, you watch too many crappy kids TV shows."

"Leave me alone Samsquatch. It's not like we get that many shows in the motels and sometimes I am actually in the mood for something wholesome and educational."

Sam snorted. "I really don't know if it creeps me out more to know that you watch Nickelodeon or porn."

"Shut up Sammy."

"Jerrrrrk."

"Bitch." Dean stopped in his tracks. "Gross. Look at this." Sam came over and they both looked over the bloody remainders of an arm near an old knapsack. "Uggh smells like all kinds of ass."

"Looks to be almost a week old."

"Do you think? You can tell just by smelling it! I didn't know Wendigos were such messy sons of bitches."

Sam nodded looking worried. "The lore describes them as crafty individuals. They usually do not make such a mess with their kills so they can't be tracked."

"So either Bethany Hamilton here was a great fighter or our Wendigo sucks at life more than the other one we hunted?"

'No Dean. That's the thing. This Wendigo is very clever. He knew to go after Cas first since he was the weakest. But leaving remains of his kills behind? He's either trying to freak us out or worse: he isn't afraid of us Dean. Leaving a trail right to his lair? It's a pretty obvious slap in the face or a trap."

Dean looked worried. "Damn it. Why do monsters have to be smart in the real world? Can't they just be crap monsters like Mike and Sully?"

"Yeah if they were more like _Monsters Inc_. maybe you could actually outthink them once in a while."

"Shut up Sam. Oh-ho now doesn't this look ominous?" The brothers stood in front of the mine. The entrance looked like it had not been viewed by human eyes for at least a century. Abandon carts lay rotted on their sides and the silence was troubling. All of the warbling birds that had followed them on the path were either silent now or simply absent from the area. Dead grass lay along the edges of the path but stopped when it reached the gray wood. Dean turned and smiled at Sam. "Ready to get funky with a Wendigo again?"

The Wendigo had spent hours trying to get Castiel to speak. Lonely for the sound of a human voice and with deeper motive he clawed into the cotton of the shirt and ripped into the skin below it. Occasionally he would scare out a whimper but now he began to capture louder sounds of pain from the angel.

Castiel moaned weakly as he felt sharp teeth tearing away at the last of his Enochian barrier. He felt the pain stronger than he had ever felt even in his true form. After Dean had taken him into his tent and made love to him he had let something slip within himself. It began the day he laid siege to hell when he was still on the same side as his brothers. When he still had a family.

The day he crawled through the flames to pull the broken man off the rack he had found himself changed. Dean took the soldier Castiel, the angel of Thursday, away from the cold life he lived. Just as the angel had pulled him off the rack Dean now sought to bring out the feelings Castiel didn't even know he had buried deep within himself.

Now that he finally learned how to be alive, to experience the same emotions Dean had that made him smile or cry as he sang along with Led Zeppelin's _Tangerine_, he couldn't shut off the flow of emotions. Castiel wanted to remember the way Dean's skin felt against his or the way it felt to be the attention of both Winchester brother's smiles. He wanted to escape back into the comfortable feelings but he was now assaulted with pain.

Instead of Dean's fingers on his skin it was the cold claws of the Wendigo. Dean's kisses across his chest became teeth renting his body. The pounding of blood in his heart as Dean moved inside him now was the countdown of his internal clock. Each beat told him he was alive-for now. But as it ticked away and counted the drops of blood that the dust drank up, he knew that he wanted to live. He had never wanted anything so much.

He held on and bit his lip. Even with the Wendigo gone it remained a shadowy figure in his mind with a promise to drive him into madness or despair. But he was still stronger than even he knew. Castiel kept the sounds of pain within him as he prayed for Dean to save him.

"Castiel? Cas? Are you down there? Castiel?" Dean's voice echoed through the darkness.

Castiel raised his head up weakly at the sound. "Dean? Dean!" His voice was rough from hours of calling out the man's name and now he could hear an answer in return.

A shape wandered down into the tunnel and Castiel tried to get a look at him. He had waited all night and Dean had made it. He had found him and now would rescue him from his own hell. "Dean?" Castiel let out a gasp of horror when he realized that the shape was none other than that of the Wendigo.

"Castiel," it crooned in a guttural voice. "Castiel," it repeated in Dean's voice. Castiel felt the tears coming down his face before he realized that he has crying.

"Where is Dean? Dean!" Castiel made a mad attempt to pull his chaffed wrists out of the ropes that bound them above his head.

"Castiel." The Wendigo reached out to the angel who quickly shrank back. Pale eyes narrowed and the monster reached out its claws towards Castiel's neck before a loud noise broke through the old air.

"Ow! Son of a bitch that hurt!" The actual Dean's howl echoed off the walls.

"Dean be careful you can't just barge into here without looking fir-"

Another banging noise echoed into the cave and Castiel couldn't help but smile. Sam must have hit his head on the same thing Dean had. They were here to rescue him! Castiel let hope start in his heart once more before he felt the Wendigo crammed a filthy rag into his mouth and covered it with another that tied behind his head. Castiel felt his heart skip a beat as the Wendigo's sly eyes stared into his once more. It crept out away from the angel and up through the tunnels.

"Did you look first before you 'barged into here'?"

"Shut up Dean." Sam placed a hand over the side of his head and grimaced at the blood under his fingers.

Dean checked him over. "You'll be fine Sammy. But next time? Save the battling for the monster, okay?

Sam rolled his eyes and trudged ahead. "Castiel? Hey man, are you down here?"

"Cas come on you son of a bitch! Where are you? We're here!"

"Dean? Help!" Castiel's voice echoed from a nearby tunnel.

"Cas? Hang in there buddy! We're coming!"

"Dean please! Help me Dean…I'm scared…"

Dean hurried towards the sound. Castiel's voice sounded horse and weak and a bit strange. Maybe it was the acoustics of the tunnel. Dean hoped Castiel hadn't spent his hours out here wondering if Dean was going to rescue him. Scared and alone while calling out for a man that had spent part of the time still asleep in the tent before he realized the angel was even gone. Dean's guilt and fear drove him forward as he ran towards the sound.

"Cas? Hey! Are you still with us? Cas?"

"Dean. I'm here." Dean reached out towards the sound and found himself tumbling down into a pit instead of gripping onto Castiel. He hit the ground with a thud and lay there quietly for a few moments. He felt the broken glass of the Molotov under his leg and the gasoline soaking through the leg of his jeans.

"Dean!" Sam hollered. "Dean?" "What happened?"

"Stay back Sammy. Dammit stay back! That wasn't Cas, it's a trap!"


	8. In the Light

**Hey! Sorry, another busy week! But here it is, the last chapter of this story *sigh* Thank you to all the reviewers who have followed this story through, you guys are awesome. Don't worry, I plan on writing plenty more Destiel stories, so keep your eyes open. I am currently writing "The Winged Rider" if you want to check that out ;) Oh and if you are reading this story months from now, go ahead and review, I will love to get them!**

**Forbidenlover1- Haha yeah that is my favorite thing about Sam and Dean. I looove their back and forth banter and Dean's bad jokes and awkward references. Yup I tidied up things so I hope they look better, thanks for the pointers!**

**Casismyfavorite- Thank you very much! Oh btw love your ff name, I agree!**

**ChelseaEllie- I know, poor Sweetie! Good thing he has his Winchesters!**

**Haventmetmyangelyet- Thanks! Yeah but I can definitely see why the Wendigo wants to eat him up ;) Haha glad you like the references, I love the idea of Dean secretly watching Dora. Who knows, maybe he learned some Spanish from it?**

"In the Light"

Sam ran peered over the edge worriedly before he felt claws around his neck. Sam wrestled with the clammy body of the Wendigo as he felt its claws digging into his neck. Stars started at his eyes. He saw the Wendigo's pale face within his blurring vision and whipped open his lighter. The monster let out a horrible scream before it pulled away its singed face. Sam felt around for the Molotov before he heard it clunk down into the pit. The Wendigo was faster than him.

"Dean? Hey! Are you alright?"

Dean sat up groggily. "Yeah Sammy. I think I busted some ribs and my wrist but my legs are mostly good." Dean climbed to his feet and ignored the throbbing in his body. "Where did that son of a bitch go?"

"I don't know Dean. Hey, do you still have your lighter?"

"Yeah, it's still in my pocket." Dean opened the lighter and spied around the hole. As the light warmed the walls around him he noticed that he was not in a hole at all. It looked like he was in the open piece of a long tunnel. "I'm going to check it out down here. See if you can find a way down that isn't jumping?"

"Yeah man. Be careful." Dean heard his brother's footsteps get fainter as he began to walk through the tunnel. He tucked his painful wrist against his chest as he wandered along with one hand to the wall. "Damn it Cas, where are you?"

It was hard to tell time in the darkness but Dean felt like he had been wandering for hours when he came upon a more open area. Dean heard crunching beneath his boot and glanced down at the skeleton below it.

"Uggh gross."

He kept going and raised the light above his head. He felt horror tunnel through every nerve fiber and the need to retch out everything he had ever eaten. Bodies hung from old wooden beams in varied states of decay. Dean passed by one body that looked to be recently deceased and shuttered, barely tearing his eyes away. He heard something move in the darkness near him and he quickly raised the lighter, about to attack, when the light fell upon the pale and trembling body of the angel Castiel.

Overcoat gone and clothes ripped to shreds, Dean had never seen him look so small and pathetic. The rips in his clothing emphasized the horrible wounds all over his body and dirt was smeared across his face. Dean felt his heart clench when he noticed that the dirt had recorded previous tracts of tears on Castiel's face. His blue eyes held all the hope in the world now no matter how tired and sickly they looked at the moment.

"Damn it Cas. What the hell did that monster do to you?" Dean reached over to Castiel and placed a hand on his cheek. Castiel closed his eyes and rested his head against Dean's hand as relief washed over him. Dean untied the rag and pulled the other one out of his mouth. The angel took in a deep breath as Dean cut the ropes off of his hands.

"Dean you did come."

"Yeah I did. What did you think you dumb son of a bitch? That I would just leave you?" Dean stubbornly sniffed everything back up his nose and rubbed at his eyes furiously. This was not the time for a chick flick moment.

"No. I knew that you would. I thought you had earlier but it wasn't you."

Dean nodded. "Yeah same thing happened to us. That sick son of a bitch sure had us fooled. Thought I heard you calling for me."

"I did."

Dean pulled him down and into his arms. "I know Cas. I know. Even when I didn't hear you I knew that you were trapped and scared down here waiting for me." Castiel nodded as he rested his head against Dean's shoulder.

"Where is Sam?"

Dean looked stricken. "Shit I don't know. We got separated on our way down here. I fell down a tunnel thing thanks to that Wendigo dick and Sam ran off to find a way down. We can retrace my steps and see if that bitch isn't still in the place I left him."

Castiel placed his hand on Dean's shoulder as he began to drag them out of the tunnel. "You are hurt."

"Yeah. It's okay Cas. We can't worry about that until we get out of this shit hole." He glanced back at him. "And you are worse off than I am. I want you to worry about yourself for once, do you understand?"

Castiel shook his head. "But you never do. Will you let me worry about you?"

Dean grinned. "Only if you let me save your cute little ass this time." Castiel smiled back and gripped Dean's uninjured hand as they wandered away from the Wendigo's trash pile.

"Hey Sammy? Where are you? Samsquatch?"

"Dean! Hey man, I'm heading over!" They heard Sam's call echo across the tunnels.

"Okay, we are not going to let that son of a bitch trick us again, so tell me something about you only I would know!"

There was silence for a while and Dean looked triumphant at Castiel. "See, I sure fooled that Wendigo!"

"In kindergarten you peed your pants on one of the playground slides. You were so embarrassed that you lied to the other kids and told them that it was a water slide." Sam's voice echoed off the walls and sounded like he was much closer.

Dean looked embarrassed and glanced down at Castiel, catching the amused look on his face. "What is a water slide?"

"Now don't you start on that Cas. Okay Sammy! You're in the clear! Come on over and I will consider not blowing out your brains."

Sam hurried over grinning. "Great, you found him!" Sam leaned over and hugged a surprised Castiel.

Dean smiled. "Yup and he was much harder to find than Waldo too. Let's jet, I'm sick of being in this dump."

"No argument here." The boys hurried as fast as their injured bodies allowed through the series of tunnels.

"Man, I bet we all look like crap." Sam smiled at the others as he helped them towards and over the edge of a hole.

"Yeah but you always do Sammy."

"Shut up Dean! Well if I look like crap than you must look li-" Dean nearly fell over as he felt Sam ripped away from under him.

"Dean it's the Wendigo!" Sam sounded winded.

"No shit Sherlock! I'm coming down there." Dean quickly turned to Castiel. "Stay there Cas. I don't want you getting into this." He hopped down after his brother.

Dean hurriedly flicked open his lighter and was horrified to discover that it was no longer working. "Son of a bitch! This piece of crap isn't working. Hang in there Sammy!"

"Dean I can't breathe!" Sam gasped out as the monster placed its hands over the bruises on his neck it left earlier. "Dean!"

"Dammit Sammy I'm trying! What about your lighter? Where is it?" Sam jerked his head towards his pocket.

Dean took a deep breath. "Watch out Samsquatch!"

Dean jumped on top of their writhing forms in an attempt to wrestle the monster off his brother. His head knocked against the wall and he saw stars. He found his way to Sam's jacket and dug through his left pocket. Nothing. He struggled to get into the other one and yet again he was met with an empty cotton pocket. "Where is it? Damn it!"

"Dean! What kills a Wendigo?" Castiel scooted closer to the ledge. His friends were in trouble and it was all his fault. He figured that he was the worst guardian angel ever since it was his charge saving him and not the other way around. He wasn't going to let his Winchesters die. Not ever, and especially not at the hands of that lowly grotesque creature.

"Not now Cas!" Dean bellowed. "Not now. This is not the time to teach you all the crap you don't know!"

Castiel bit back the feeling of hurt. Feelings were not important now, but his friend's life was. "What kills a Wendigo?" He shouted back at Dean.

"Fire or too much light! Don't try and use my gun won't work." Dean fiercely kicked the Wendigo in the side but it simply brushed him off. He watched Sam begin to slow down and concentrate on every rare breath he could get into his burning lungs. He blinked back tears.

"Sammy don't give up damn you, don't you dare give up!" The Wendigo pulled away from Sam long enough to sink its teeth in Dean's broken wrist. He hollered with pain and tried to get back to his brother when a brilliant light filled the cavern. Dean looked up to see Castiel sitting on the ground with his head thrown back, light spilling out of his eyes and mouth. Dean could now actually see his wings as they billowed out behind him and cut into the painful white surrounding them.

"Cas? Cas!" Dean was blinded by the whiteness for what felt like minutes. The light felt hot and he could feel its burn against his skin. He could hear the Wendigo make a horrible sound next to him and he watched the outline of the monster contort and stretch. He closed his eyes and huddled on the ground.

"Cas! It's dead. Stop it! Stop!" Dean crawled over to where he had last seen the angel when the light suddenly went out. He blindly felt around until he felt a thin arm under his hand. The angel's eyes were wide open and a light trickle of blood trailed from his nose. Dean gasped when he saw the angel banishing design cut into his chest and a jagged rock in his hand.

"CAS? Cas!" Dean shook him furiously. "Come on get up!"

Sam crawled over. "Is he dead? What did he do?"

Dean shook his head with tears in his eyes. "I don't know Sammy. I-I don't know. I think he zapped himself back to heaven."

"It must have been too much for him Dean. Look man, I'm sorry but his batteries were too fried."

He pulled the angel against his chest and ran a hand through the messy brown hair. "Come on Cas. Come on." Dean fiercely kissed him when he felt Castiel struggle in his arms.

"Mmmhrmmmph!" Castiel's eyes opened wide as he stared into Dean's"

Dean sat back in surprise. "Cas? What the hell was that?" Castiel sat there taking deep breaths and looking wide at him. "I thought you were all out of angle juice?"

Castiel nodded. "I thought so too. I tried out the spell anyway and there must be enough angel in me to send me back home."

"Did you go back to heaven?" Sam looked at the angel in wonder.

Castiel shook his head slowly. "I don't think so. I heard Dean and I came back." He stared solemnly into Dean's eyes. "I couldn't leave."

Dean hugged him to his chest. "I'm glad you didn't. I don't even know what the hell they would have done to you if they got you back into Stepford bitch paradise."

Castiel smiled against his shoulder and held out a hand to Sam. The boys sat there huddled for a few minutes and forgot about the evil monster who's ruined body lay nearby.

"Let's go. I'm sure Cas would like to see some real sunlight." Castiel nodded as they helped each other up. Dean and Sam glanced down at the body of the Wendigo but Castiel took a few steps away, towards the light that he knew lay outside. He felt Dean grip one of his hands and Sam the other as they left it once more to its loneliness.

It took them less than an hour to find their way out of the twisted cavern. But this time they could feel that the menace no longer lay behind them. Dean reluctantly let Sam carry the angel piggy back style for a while but kept shooting jealous looks. Cas peeked at him occasionally from Sam's back looking rather pleased. He was with his boys once more. They stepped into the sunlight and felt its warmth on their cold bodies.

"Dean."

"Yeah Cas?"

"I hear them." Castiel leaned against him with his eyes closed. The birds had started up again once more and they were even greeted with the curious twitching nose of a rabbit. Life had returned to the area. The boys were able to truly appreciate the beauty of the area without fear. They passed the river they had fished at and a large Northern Pike leapt out of the water.

"Hey Cas, wanna go fishing? Maybe you can catch him again."

Castiel shook his head looking serious. "No I don't think I want to go camping for a while."

Sam and Dean shared looks and smiled at him. "That's okay." Dean put an arm around him. "Me either."

They stumbled along the path and were relieved to come upon their camp once more. It was still in disarray but everything in the trunk of the Impala remained untouched. "Good. That son of a bitch left my baby alone. If it hadn't I would have had Cas bring him back so I could kill him again."

"Why would I do that?"

Dean shook his head. "Good to have you back buddy. C'mon guys, let's get cleaned up. I'm tired of being somewhere that doesn't sell cheeseburgers."

"I'll back you up on that one Dean. Take care of Cas, I'll start tidying things up." He winked at Dean before heading over to the Impala.

Dean glared at him. "Shut up bitch. Come here Cas." Dean pulled the angel into the tent with him. He rummaged around in his duffle bag and through a few things in it. "Okay one last trip to the river and we can head out. Sam's going to get things rolling so we have some time to get cleaned up. You are a mess."

Castiel looked shamefaced down at the ground. "I know. I must look terrible."

Dean grinned and glanced at him. "Nah. Cas, even after being the Wendigo's chew toy, you look as stunning as always." Dean gripped his hand and ran the thumb over it lightly. He dropped the duffle bag by the river and pulled Castiel into his arms for a few minutes. "I thought I lost you for good," Dean whispered into the angel's tousled hair.

"I'm glad you didn't." Castiel looked surprised as Dean gently pulled his ruined shirt off of him.

"Good thing we got you out of those other clothes. I can hardly even tell what color your shirt was before." This time when Dean reached down to the zipper he undid it with confidence. Castiel looked back at him in surprise as he stepped out of the jeans. He rested his hands on Dean's shoulders before leaning over and kissing him softly on the mouth. Now Dean took his time. Before he had been frantic with the need to taste and touch. The hunger was there, but now Dean wanted to learn everything he could about his angel.

The apocalypse was coming. He had just learned the brutal lesson that even an angel of the lord could be powerless sometimes. He knew to be afraid of things. He knew how it felt to be alone and scared. He had felt hours of pain at the Wendigo. Dean saw that in his eyes as he slipped out of his own clothes and led Castiel by the hand into the cool river. He washed off traces of blood and dirt from fair skin. He ran soap through the angel's soft brown hair and planted kisses across his face and neck. Slowly he washed away as much physical evidence as he could from the tortures of the monster.

But when his fingers ran over delicate skin the felt the edges of wounds unhealed. He saw something different in the angel's eyes. But even with the newly gained knowledge in his blue eyes Dean could see that innocence still remained. Castiel was as curious as ever and Dean vowed to keep it that way. He would do whatever he could to keep Castiel from the darkness he saw everywhere. He wanted the angel to be still in love with the world. Fascinated with the things Dean had either forgotten about or never given much thought to. Dean could be bitter. He could lose faith in everything and then Cas was there to remind him of what he turned a blind eye to. Everything about the angel was beautiful. It was up to Dean to save him in the same way he had saved himself.

Castiel watched him the entire time, entranced by the love he saw in Dean's eyes. Dean muttered to himself as he gently went over the torn up skin and Castiel smiled softly at him.

"Dean stop hurting yourself over this. You saved me."

Dean shook his head and took both of Castiel's hands in his own. "I shouldn't have lost you in the first place. I really am a dumb son of a bitch sometimes." He ran his thumb over Castiel's hand and looked down at the water.

"Dean. You did not lose me. I did. If I didn't trust you would I be here? I am prepared to give you everything I have and I believe that you would do the same for me."

Dean smiled and pressed his nose against Castiel's. "What would I do without you?" Dean kissed his mouth slowly and felt the angel wrap his arms around his neck. "Want to head back to camp? We can send Samsquatch out and spend some time together before we get out of the woods?"Castiel smiled and wandered out of the water without realizing that Dean was still staring at him.

"Hey guys, are you already to go?" Sam looked cheerful at them as they wandered over to the Impala. Castiel sat in the back of the Impala with the door still open as he watched Sam look scrutinizing at them.

"We are but you look like shit. Go get cleaned up first Sammy, I don't want you dirtying up my baby." Dean looked tenderly over at the car as Sam caught Castiel's eye and shook his head. Castiel copied Sam's overdone eye roll even though he wasn't sure what it meant.

"Okay I get it. But look man, you do it in the Impala and I am walking home."

"Yeah whatever Sammy. You know that we would never do that." Castiel believed Dean was being sincere so he nodded solemnly at Sam. Sam shook his head at them as he grabbed his duffle bag. Dean spied after Sam until he was sure that his gigantor brother was gone. He glanced over his shoulder one more time before climbing on top of a startled Castiel in the Impala's back seat. Soon Dean's mouth was everywhere and the Wendigo became a shadow in Castiel's mind. Dean was once more lost inside him and Castiel could think of nothing else as Dean proved his love to him with every thrust inside him. All Castiel could do was grip on tightly to the man as Dean found his way deeper. Drunk off of each other and reeling they both came in a dizzying frenzy.

As Dean caught his breath above him Castiel decided that it was all worth it. If Dean could be his he would survive this war. Castiel and Dean reluctantly cleaned each other up and were dressed and looking casual by the time Sam came over. He looked at both of them with their tousled hair and nonchalant attitudes and sighed.

"The Impala Dean, seriously?"

Dean grinned and put an arm around Castiel's shoulders. "I have no idea what you are talking about Sammy. Are you sure you washed your mind along with behind your ears? It's pretty dirty."

Sam looked pinched. "Nice Dean. Really nice."

"Are you sure you still want to walk out of here Sammy boy?" Sam got in the car with a sigh as Dean winked at Castiel.

The Impala started up with a low rumble and Castiel watched as the trees began to move past once more. He admired the beauty of the forest once more, but this time with some trepidation. Led Zeppelin's _Since I've Been Loving You_ played on the stereo as the rain started up. Castiel found Dean's eyes in the rearview mirror and smiled softly as Dean grinned at him.

"Okay, I am still in the car. Enough with the bed room eyes. I'm glad Cas is with us, I really am, but you'd better keep your eyes on the road before you hit something." Dean smiled and put his foot on the brakes just in time to allow an elk to cross the road. It turned its antlered head towards them and stared at the boys for a few moments. As it lumbered to the other side a few does and a gangly calf trailed behind, each glancing at the Impala before disappearing into the deeper parts of the forest. They almost looked like they knew who had killed the monster in their forest and were grateful to them. They knew to bring back their families into the woods once more, or so it seemed. They were only animals after all…

"Hey, that last one looked like you Sammy."

"Shut up Dean."

"Only if you do bitch."

Castiel looked at them and smiled at his Winchesters as they drove along the road once more. He had found himself a family and now he truly was one of them. The road eventually led them to the highway and the boys were back to the real world with not only one less threat to the world but a loving connection that would serve them in later battles. In this moment they were a family. Two brothers and their angel would face the world and survive. One monster down, one apocalypse to go.

**Thanks again guys! I will def. write more stories, and I would love if you checked those out too. Oh and if anyone knows why stars or underlines refuse to show up on ff, tell me. I put them in and they always disappear! Maybe it's a format thing? Hmmm… anywho, peace out!**

**-Paperganstah**


End file.
